never split the difference

never split the difference book review


Read time- 4 minutes


Do you feel negotiations are like battle grounds?

There is an inherent belief that negotiations must be aggressive. But what if someone were to tell you that you should never split the difference in a negotiation?


Any negotiation should be either in your favor or at least be fair to all parties involved.


Ensuring that you don’t lose out on a good deal, people usually get worried when they are about to negotiate.


When things get heated up in a negotiation, words unheard of before are invented in verbal spats or you ruin the rest of the day thinking about how badly you fared in that negotiation.  


By nature, any negotiation would seem daunting. After all, a lot rests on certain kinds of negotiation.

It could be about annual appraisal, a job offer, or as simple as choosing which series to binge-watch, all of these set the tone for how things will be moving ahead in life for you.


This is where the book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss comes to ease you into becoming a master negotiator.

Where all in your life will this book be helpful?

We all MUST negotiate daily at some point in our lives.


Waking up in the morning and convincing your mom that you are unwell for school when you really are not!


The discount that your vendors refuse to give to you, but you know your peers get more discounts from them.


The negotiation with your spouse to go to the restaurant of your choice, but it’s never your choice of restaurant you end up going to!


Every such moment, whether it happens in personal life or professional, has a direct repercussion on your well-being.


So, learning to better manage all such scenarios is what the book, Never Split the Difference by Chriss Voss is all about. A famous face on as well, what this author teaches you in this book is nothing less than life-changing.

What does the book teach?

never split the difference

The book Never Split the Difference is written in a conversational style with a myriad of scenarios that gives you an insight into the rich and complex work experience of the author as well.


Chris Voss his experiences of having negotiated with terrorists all the way to car dealers!


While one of these two situations may be of more relevance to you, but when reading this book, you will bookmark the hell out of it!


A highlight of the book is that you can shorten the time of negotiations.


For example. you can start a negotiation by saying that I wish for this to be a fair deal and if at any time you do not feel that I am being fair to you, please tell me.


This gives the illusion to the other party that they are in control, while it will be always the other way around.


The lessons that you will learn from this book never spilt the difference stick with you just like the book rich dad poor dad that is a global phenomenon.

Example of some techniques in the book

Consider the following examples from the book Never Split the Difference.


If you are looking for a mentor in your company but nobody is willing to become one for you, ask that person, what does it take to be successful in this company?


This one simple open-ended question can help initiate a conversation that may encourage that person to be your mentor.


Like these, there is a list of the most compelling and effective open-ended questions you will come across in the book Never Split the Difference.


Another such suggestion is to avoid verbs like can, do, is, or does in a negotiation.


Instead, imagine yourself as a news reporter. Use words that reporters use like who, what, where, why, and when.


Amongst this set of words, WHY, is the most provocative.


Try having a conversation with a loved one and put a lot of whys and see how wonderfully the conversation will derail!


It makes the person feel that they are being interrogated. They then, feel defensive and the conversation will never finish on a positive note.


Asking HOW repeatedly, however, can make the other side feel at ease and create a healthy environment around that conversation.


Another concept of calibrated questions can make any negotiation seamless.


You can design them before you enter a negotiation such that you drive the conversation to where you want it to go.

never split the difference
negotiate differently with different people

You will encounter different sets of personalities to negotiate with. Not all people will be the same. For this reason, your negotiation tactics will also need to be different.


You will have to accommodate your negotiation styles quickly by assessing the personality type of the person in consideration.


What if that person has also read this book before you or is particularly good at negotiating as well?


There are insights into these personality types of negotiators for you to assess them and then apply the relevant strategies that the author proposes.


Perhaps, the most ground-breaking concept in the book Never Split the Difference is the Rule Of Three. It is a method for a person to make them agree with you three times in one conversation.


The book covers how you can manage to do so and if you practice this technique properly, you could jujitsu your way out of any negotiation!

be fearless next time you negotiate

Chriss Voss has written never split the difference from his own life experiences and how he succeeded in influencing people the right way to create a win-win situation.


From his techniques, negotiations end on a positive note.


If not in a win-win situation, the negotiations are at least amicable and do not make the other party feel defeated.


Negotiation as a concept is not easy to understand owing to its ambiguous nature.


But with this effective read that is you feel more confident, wise, and a dunce for not having read this book earlier in your life!


Click on the link below to never feel that way again!


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